Kill A Wish

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Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:46 pm

The rules are the same as the one on the last board, but with one addition: Kills must be intelligent, well thoughtout, related, and preferably complicated or out-of-the-box.

I'll start us off:

I wish I had an Egg Salad Sandwich.

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Azrael on Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:54 pm

You receive... The Best Egg Salad Sandwich ever! The Egg Salad Sandwich Super Saga of Creation! You are transported to the site of the epic showdown on the Highlands. You find yourself on the front lines right as the battle starts and you are annihilated by a stray blast from Azrael.

I wish I had more cigarettes.

Azrael


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:59 pm

More cancer-sticks coming up! You get a whole vault full! As you relax on a pile of expensive and rare cigarettes, a smoldering ember from your current smoke falls on the pile, lighting it. Soon, the entire room is in flames, filling the barely-ventilated air with smoke. Your body is found several days later, charred to a blackened husk. Everyone warned you smoking would be the death of you...

I wish that This board becomes the epitome of epic on the internet!

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Azrael on Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:04 pm

The ESSSSOC Board becomes the very word in Epic. Soon, everyone else is making imitation boards and the internet is filled to the brim with them. The true original work is lost in the storm of knockoffs, and soon all memory of us is lost. Over a hundred different sites claim copywrite on the original idea, and the ensuing legal battle goes on for decades while we starve away in ignominy.

I wish I had twenty-seven barrels of pickled herring.

Azrael


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Dingo Batblade on Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:25 am

You are given twenty-seven barrels of pickled herring and are enjoying it until an army of small but ferosious animals, so intoxicated by the smell of herring, burst into your house and attempt to eat both you and the herring. You barely escape the frenzy alive and begin running through the woods. As you hear a pack of them approaching, you duck into a nearby bush to hide. However, minutes before they move out of site you are struck by food posioning, alerting the pack to your presence and are swiftly torn apart and eaten.

I wish for the Golden Ticket

Dingo Batblade


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Sebastienne Pestiieno on Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:31 pm

You get the golden ticket! To Billy Bonker's factory. You don't figure out the difference and show up. Turns out, Billy Bonker's is a pseudonym for the Evil Overlord who's been collecting those horrible authors that have been writing heroes to take him down.
You're ripped apart and your head is made a trophy, while your bones are made into fine cutlery.

I wish it was a full moon every night.

Sebastienne Pestiieno
Admin


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:20 pm

I'm tired, and this post has been erased three times now (before it could be posted), so I'm going to do this short and sweet.
Go with the obvious answer...
Well, half obvious...
(My answer was actually usurped before I could post it...)
My there are a lot of ellipses in this post...
Anyway, let's just say you made this possible.

I wish I didn't use so many ellipses...

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Artemis Hyde on Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:35 pm

You do, but not only in writing. Soon you begin to not be able to pause between any incomplete thought ever. That means means in your speech, and your thoughts, so whenever you ponder about something, you must finish it without interuption. It doesn't affect your life much until someone asks you the about the single unifying equation of the universe. You spend the rest of your life in a vegetable state pondering over this question until your death.

I wish I had never heard of IB, and took AP classes instead.

Artemis Hyde


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:55 pm

This is Kevin. Kevin is reasonably happy. Kevin takes challenging AP classes, and has never heard of AP. One day, though, before his senior year, Kevin hears a rumor about a fabulous, more challenging curriculum that gives more prestige (Rumors do tend to tend towards exaggerating one way or another). Kevin, in his ignorance, wants to take part in this program, because it sounds so utopian. But Kevin wants the full Diploma, not just a certificate. So, Kevin builds a time machine, so he can go back in time to his freshman year, and enroll in a school with this mythical "International Baccalaureate" program. Unfortunately, he doesn't consult any experts on the subject of Time Travel, or in engineering, so ends up just killing himself in a massive explosion in the attempt. Curiously enough, the explosion only destroyed Kevin's home, and half of downtown Detroit.

I wish that my Webcomics would update when I wanted them to, but keeping hold of their current quality in every aspect.

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by Artemis Hyde on Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:08 pm

that's a repeat!

Artemis Hyde


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:34 pm

It's new for this board.

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by That Cool Person on Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:30 pm

Your webcomics update at your command, but are so good that you just keep reading. You then become addicted and won't stop looking at them. Your homework, your playing ability, your church attendance, etc. all suffer. Eventually you become a creepy old man who only leaves his house when necessary. Then you die at your computer and no one notices for weeks.

I wish that the weather in Texas wouldn't exceed 95 degrees and we would never have conditions that made us go on water restrictions.

That Cool Person


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by MadChickenz on Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:12 pm

Not only does the weather not exceed 95 degrees, but the whole world plunges into a neverending ice age, where -95 is a warm day. Life on earth as we know it ends, and the world is purged, ready for a new alien species to take over. (Or to be more nerdy, your wish led to the creation of the planet Hoth).

I wish that I had a huge bucket of ice cream!

MadChickenz


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by The Highlander on Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:11 am

First off, Courtney: Ouch. That one hurt. Good job! Very Happy
Secondly, Andrew: I prefer the parenthetical wish killing.
Thirdly, Andrew: Why'd you have to walk by the Tower of the Americas when they dropped that huge bucket of ice cream off the side? Now you're in a coma for decades and, when you wake up, you are automatically put into the Reeducation Camp of the Socialist States of the Americas. Good times...or else.

I wish that Ninja(my cat, to be more specific) wouldn't be such a spaz.

_________________
I know the sound of each rock and stone, And I embrace what others fear.
You are not to roam, In this forgotten place; just the likes of me are welcome here.
Everything breathes, and I know each breath; for me it means life, for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned. More than enough, for this man. Like every tree
stands on its own, reaching for the sky, I stand alone. I share my world, with no one else.
All by myself, I stand alone

The Highlander


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Re: Kill A Wish

Post by MadChickenz on Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:08 pm

Personally Mark, I prefer the parenthetical kill that I did also, but I wasn't sure Courtney would get the reference.
Anyway, your cat is no longer a spaz. Ever. End of story. In fact he doesn't even move. You must hand feed him and he grows to over 100 pounds until he can't move. Then he (I hope your cat is a he not a she, and my bad if I'm wrong) gets his own tv show for being the world's fattest cat and you undergo eternal shame in the Guiness Book of World Records as being the worst pet caretaker ever.

I wish that I could have a new ipod.

MadChickenz


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